They say that fall is coming. It’s so funny, it’s still so hot here in Nashville. I love it! My Facebook memories are full of pictures of me in jeans and jackets in Chicago. When I was younger, fall was my favorite season. That changed after nearly two decades in the tundra. I’m hoping I can enjoy fall again now.
Technically, the first day of fall isn’t until September 23rd. I’m thinking that it might actually feel that way this time. (It would be nice if December 23rd actually felt like the first day of winter instead of the second month like it did up north.)
Fall is supposed to be one of those transition months. I feel like 2019 has been a ‘transition year’ for me, but I can definitely feel more flux happening already. Some of it has been stressful. I’ve read a lot about stress. Specifically I’ve read about two different types of stress; eustress and distress. Everyone knows what distress it, but eustress is new to many. Eustress is the ‘good’ stress. The stress that you put on your body to get stronger and the stress you put on yourself to get better.
Wednesday evening, I was lying awake in bed, going through everything I had coming up in my head. As much as I tried to turn it off and go to sleep, the hamster wheel kept turning. My work schedule for one of my jobs had shifted unexpectedly, so I had to move a meeting with a theatre contact I had been trying to meet as well as shift around a video interview for a job. I had a call the next day with a PT director in Chicago to help me brush up on a few things that I had requested help with and I was thinking about that. Thursday night I had been invited to make dinner with a neighbor, I also had plans Friday night and big plans for next weekend which require me to move my hours around at the other job.
I was trying to quiet my head down so that I could sleep. Mentally putting things away sometimes helps. “Okay, you’re not going to study for the certification any more tonight, so stop thinking about it. That’s not happening until next weekend, we’ll put some organizational stuff on the to-do list tomorrow, stop thinking about it.” And on like that until I got to the call that I was having the following day. I couldn’t let it go and started to ask myself why I was obsessing over it. Was I nervous? No… no reason to be nervous, he’s helping me learn, I’m not supposed to know everything. Am I dreading the call? No, I genuinely like the guy and am grateful that he’s taking the time to help me out. That’s when I realized… I was excited.
I AM experiencing stress right now, but I believe that a lot of it is good stress. I’m working toward the things that I want to be working toward. I’m busy and work, my schedule is crammed because I’m getting more PT sessions and more education opportunities through my company. In between the two jobs is busy because I have interviews for other jobs, potential opportunities. I’m meeting new people, making new connections. I’m busy after work because I’m studying another certification, working on my writing and in between those things, I have friends inviting me to do cool stuff. This is all good!
I was in the grocery store yesterday after work, rushing to get things for dinner with a neighbor last night and dinner with another friend (who is bringing me to my very first burlesque show!) tonight. I stopped for a moment and thought, “life is good right now!” Yes, it’s hard work right now, but it’s all eustress. It’s growth.
Will everything go exactly the way I want it to go? Probably not, but some of it will. And it’s exciting that I get the chance to try.