A few years ago, I went to my first Writer’s Conference and it was a fantastic experience. I still keep in touch with a few of the people I met there.

Obviously, opportunities like this have all but vanished in recent times. However, things have started opening up again (probably only to eventually shut back down, but we’ll see). Several weeks ago, I learned that I had an opportunity to go to Killer Nashville, at least for a day or two. One of my writer friends was going to be there, another also decided to go, I was looking forward to it.

But I procrastinated buying my ticket and even making plans.

The week of the conference finally came, I still hadn’t bought my ticket, I still hadn’t made plans. My boss had offered me her ticket to a day that she couldn’t go to, and told me I could expense another day. Still, I was dragging my feet. Why?

Part of this is, of course, due to safety concerns. But I could wear a mask. I did it all last year. I could wash my hands, etc. What was it?

It was the planning. The planning to actually go somewhere. (In spite of being called Killer Nashville, the conference is actually in Franklin, so if I were to attend on a weekday, I had to coordinate car use with Dean or get a ride.) Planning what to bring, what to wear, food, arranging my exercise and physical therapy around an entire day out of the house, etc. I also had a birthday party (of all vaccinated attendees) that Dean and I were supposed to attend that evening. This seemed like a lot.

Eventually, I decided I really just needed to go. I could always leave early if I felt uncomfortable, but I had promised my friends that I would show up and so I really should make an honest effort.

The night before, I made a power playlist to get me pumped up to leave the house.

I forgot how neurotic I get the day before an event. My friend, Emily, had been the day before and I peppered her with questions. Was it hot or cold inside? Should I bring a hoodie? Were people wearing masks? Was there food? Was there non-meat food? How was parking? Was the parking free? Was it difficult to find? Etc. I packed several Larabars in case any of us needed food. I also packed extra pens and paper as well as my iPad for taking notes. A copy of my receipt (of course), my business cards, a hoodie, an umbrella, a hairbrush, Chapstick, gum, small bills in cash, and on and on and on. I fit this all into one shoulder bag, by the way.

That Saturday morning, I got up at 5:30am, sleeping in only half an hour from my weekday schedule, to get my morning run in. If I were going to be sitting in panels all day, I needed to get the jitters out.

It was storming outside.

I panicked for about five minutes. Considered being late to the conference and missing the keynote in order to get my run in once the rain had stopped. However, a glance at my app told me that it was going to rain all morning. I sucked it up and got on the treadmill.

Not normally a big deal, but I had not used the treadmill since my injury. The treadmill has to be set at a certain speed. When you’re running outside, you can let your body dictate how fast it feels like going. Stopping and walking is a bit easier. Regardless, I managed to get it done and got myself showered, fed, caffeinated, and into the car in decent time. I was only five minutes late.

Late enough that I had to walk through an entire crowd of people to find my friends who were sitting in the center of the room, but this wasn’t that big of a deal.

The panels were interesting. It was nice to be delving into writing in a different way again. And the authors were so friendly! The three of us who went together were most nervous about the mingling parts of the day, but those ended up being the most fun. Fortunately for us, other writers were more outgoing than we were.

At lunch, three authors, who we later found out were also panelists, came and sat down next to us. They all asked what we were working on and seemed genuinely interested. We talked about what they were working on and then the conversation devolved into writing (among other things) and we all had a blast. Lunch flew by but we all exchanged contact information.

The same happened after the last panel. Two authors that my friends were absolutely in love with were chatting with us until it came time to turn the room over. When we all exited, my friends and I assumed that this was the end of our day and we’d be saying goodbye and heading home. But the other two ladies asked us if we had another panel to go to or if we wanted to hang out. We chatted with them for about an hour. And I found out that one of them went to the same college that I did. In the same major. At exactly the same time. And grew up in the same town and that we had mutual friends. It was crazy! And so much fun.

And I was so glad I went.

Did I hit a wall later at the party and trip over my own sword several times? Yes. Yes I did. Did I spend the next day languishing in mental exhaustion, wishing to talk to no one in no way, shape, or form? Indeed!

But it was all worth it.

It was stimulating in a way that I had completely forgotten about. This is understandable, being that I’ve avoided these types of gatherings for over a year. Yes, I’ve been to online conferences, and yes, you do learn things at those, but it’s not like being in person with people. The random side conversations, the chatting before or lingering afterward, none of that really happens online. Especially for a naturally more introverted group (writers), it’s very easy to just turn your camera off and be safe and comfy and not extend yourself. But extending yourself is very stimulating! And some people are better at it than others. When you put them all together, the people that are good at it, help those that are still practicing.

Which is really all of us.

In short, I’m glad I pushed myself out of the house. I hope that we all get boosters (when available) and are careful so that more of these things can happen safely in the future.

Getting out in spite of myself