Would you still write if you knew you would never be published?

Recently I had a friend ask me this question. If I knew I would never get published, would I still write?

I’ve always written. I wrote stories as a child, wrote my first full length manuscript at thirteen (that’s as far as it went), I’ve been writing this blog weekly for at least four years. I’ve written things no one will ever see and I’ve written things I’d like to show the world. 

I do like having a goal. I like pushing myself to improve and it’s nice when there’s a marker of that improvement. That’s definitely one of the reasons I continue to pursue publication. You won’t get anywhere writing in a vacuum and in order to see where your weaknesses lie, you have to solicit feedback. If you take it, feedback can help you improve. 

Another thing I’ve always done is running. I like running in races. I like getting that PR and the occasional award, but that’s not why I run. I run because I love it. If you’ve been reading for a while, you’ll know that I’ve been dealing with a significant running injury this year. I had to stop running for over six months, it was hell. But it’s important to me, so I spent hundreds of dollars and lots of time and effort rehabbing myself. I might be able to race again this year. And it would be nice to get a PR, but that’s not why I’m doing it.

I don’t do things that I don’t want to do unless I’m getting paid, or I really love the person asking me to do the thing. (Yeah, I’ll probably help you move if I love you.) And you have to do a lot of writing without getting paid to ever have a hope of getting published. 

If I knew I were never going to get published, I would still write. I might write differently. I might not push myself to the keyboard on days I didn’t feel up to it. I might not seek out tough love criticism and force myself through the painful process of ‘slaying darlings’ because I would be writing for myself. It wouldn’t matter if there were holes in my narrative or if my characters were believable, I’d just be first drafting my way through. 

So I’m glad I don’t know. I’m glad I have that goal. I like improving. It’s hard, but the results are worth it. 

I think with any artistic thing you do, you have to love the journey and just enjoy the different stops along the way. The journey will be challenging enough. It should be fun too.