Loving all this travel! Hate packing with the fiery passion of ten thousand suns.

I have cleaned entire kitchens, washed entire loads of laundry, reorganized desk drawers, all in the name of procrastinating packing for a trip. I know that this stresses me out and I’ve done everything I can to make it easier for myself.

• I have a pre-made packing checklist that I use before each trip that helps me remember things that might slip my mind.

• I have a box in my closet of travel things that I’ve accumulated.

  • Packing cubes.

  • Laundry bag.

  • Toiletries bag. WITH many travel toiletries forever pre-packed!

  • Travel corkscrew

  • Travel Library of Congress plastic wine tumbler. (Yes, you read that correctly.)

• Cube of book swag items ready to go.

• Certain outfits that I always wear to book events that are easy, no-brainer packs.

• A jewelry box that is mainly prepacked.

You would think that I would be fine. I am not fine. I have nightmares before every trip. (Shut up, Jim. And everyone like Jim who claims to sleep dreamlessly through the nights.) This most recent trip I dreamed about the car falling off a cliff, the AirBnB being a double murder scene, and teenagers making fun of me.

I always plan to start packing days before I do. I know that I feel better once it’s done. The problem is that it cannot be done until the day before. HEAR ME OUT.

• If you use any moisturizer, or shower in the morning, there are things that you cannot pack until the morning you leave.

• If you run in the morning, you cannot pack your running shoes or certain accoutrement until the morning of your trip.

• Foodstuffs.

Still, I’ve done this many times. I should be used to it by now. Why do I hate it so much?

I believe it’s because my mentality is always forward thinking. I had to do a lot of work to enable myself to appreciate the moment and I still have to sometimes consciously make myself stop and think. Thus I believe I hate packing because I have to mentally leap forward many days, and it is impossible to know what I will need for all of the days or how those days will go. Here’s a list of things that make packing even worse:

• Seasonal shifts. Am I going from Tennessee to Illinois? I now have to adjust not only to a potential twenty degree drop, but fifty degrees in Illinois feels quite different from fifty degrees in Nashville. If you don’t believe me, I dare you to bike to work in both places in February.

  • This affects not just the clothes you’re going to wear every day, but it DOES affect the clothes you’re going to wear every day. Are you going to any nice event while you’re there? How nice? And will it be cold or hot inside? Layers? Do you have something that nice with layers? I COULD GO ON.

  • Exercise. Is there a gym where you’re going? If running is your sanity, will you be able to get on the gym’s treadmill when you need it or will there be only one and a dozen people fighting for it? Are there safe places to run if you get up before sunlight? Should you run with a knife in your hand? (I HAVE DEFINITELY RUN EIGHT MILES CLUTCHING A KNIFE.) Do you know how to get to the running places? Also, weather, what kind of running stuff will you need? Hats? Gloves? Jacket? Headlight?

  • Jackets. Just one? Cute or goes with everything? Shoes. Will there be snow? Rain?

  • Do you have the bra for that?

• Trips more than two days.

  • What is the weather going to do if you’re there for five days or longer? (See previous bullet.)

  • Do you have access to a gym with weights? If not, can you pack a TRX?

  • Will you have laundry? If so, how much will it be? Where are you GOING TO EAT? (I’m pescatarian so this is sometimes an issue. I usually just back two dozen larabars and drop three pounds.)

  • Is it possible you will be starting your period during this time? If so, bring several different bra and underwear options because at this age, bra size can fluctuate two cups or more. Also bring lots of Advil and fingers crossed it’s not a really bad one.

• Is this a book event?

  • Do you have all of the business cards, bookmarks, pens, lightup sign, charging cord for light up sign, newsletter signup, etc. that you need?

  • Will they have your books there or do you need to somehow bring them? If they are going to have your books there, will they really or should you bring some just in case? Will they have enough of your books there or should you bring some in case they run out?

  • Are you doing a presentation there? Do you need handouts and do you have them? Are they providing a projector? Do you have your slides downloaded in case there’s no Wi-Fi? Do you know your slides well enough in case nothing works at all and everything goes to hell and you just have to improv all by yourself in front of an audience of two to twenty people?

• General considerations.

  • Are you flying or driving? If you’re flying you’re going to have to condense everything down and all of this will get ten times worse.

  • Do you need to bring a measuring spoon for your apple cider vinegar shot in the morning?

  • Can you pack all of your vitamins and magnesium without attracting a bag check?

  • Should you/can you bring booze?

  • Should you/can you bring weapons?

  • Will the coffee be bad? Will there be a nearby Starbuck that is not prohibitively expensive? (I’m looking at you, $8 drip coffee in San Diego.) Should you bring some Starbucks Instant coffee?

I could probably go on, but now you know exactly how neurotic I am. But If you hate packing too, and you have even more bullet points, I would love for you to add yours in the comments!