How our reading habits change in response to stress.

I recently had a meeting with a friend of mine who co-runs a very cool candle company with his wife. They’re planning on making a special Ghost Tamer themed candle for my release and we were hammering out ideas. He apologized that he hadn’t read the book yet saying, “Something happened during the pandemic and I’m just not reading books as quickly as I used to.”

Knowing that they’ve had buckets of stress even post-pandemic, this didn’t surprise me at all.

The pandemic and subsequent years hit everyone differently, but one unique aspect of it was that most people were under stress for an extended period of time. When looking back at behaviors during that period of time, you can almost certainly point them toward stress, giving us a lens with which to observe our behavioral changes during stressful times.

When your life is uncertain and you feel like you have no control over what happens (most of us during the pando), you tend to seek out the familiar. You’ll go back and binge t.v. shows that you’ve already seen. You’ll re-read a book you’ve read a million times. Maybe you will have the courage to check out something new, but if you do, it’s going to be something formulaic; a crime drama, a stand up comedy routine, a new book by an author you’re incredibly familiar with. In short: you won’t go looking for surprises.

I told my friend to give himself a pass on being slower to get to new stuff. Generally, we go to read books or watch t.v. when we’re trying to relax and unwind from the stress of our ‘real’ lives. When we’re already stressed, sometimes we’ll instinctively recoil from anything unknown. A new thriller or mystery that may have been your jam normally, could inexplicably be unappealing when you’re stressed. Even unconsciously.

This can also be seasonal.

When I lived in Chicago, I was miserable during the (long as hell) winters. It added a lot of stress into my daily life. I taught fitness in several different locations around the city and used my bike to get to them all. Thus, I was obsessed with the weather and layering on all of my outerwear for the 45 minute ride into downtown added another half an hour to my morning routine. Not to mention the fear of freezing cold pain should I underestimate the windchill.

In the summer, Dean and I loved to watch Forensics Files, or find a new series on Netflix to go through together. In the winter, I didn’t have the interest. Suddenly all I wanted to do was watch Bob Ross paint happy little trees or rewatch episodes of Bones. One winter we watched every single episode of Friends. My soul was shying away from adding any additional stress into my life. Once I made this connection, it was easy to simply plan for it.

Years ago, in my early 20s, I had a breakup that hit me very hard for whatever reason. I remember rewatching The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood over and over. I asked a friend of mine what was wrong with me. I wondered if I should force myself to stop and watch something else. She said, “Well, you’re having a really hard time right now. And this movie speaks to you for some reason. I think there are a lot worse ways you could be coping than watching the same movie over and over.”

There is a reason that we dive for our old favorites when we’re stressed or depressed. I’m not sure why the impulse to fight it or feel guilty about it seems so ingrained, but I think we should let go. These ‘friends’ are there for a reason, and if we need them, I’m sure they’re happy to see us.