A very snarky Christmas.
As we get closer to the large holidays, I’ve been seeing a growing divisiveness and snarkiness on my social media pages. Not as much overt and direct ‘discussion’ but more passive aggressive memes and counter memes. The themes generally range from ‘stay home and stop destroying people with your risky behavior’ to ‘stop living in fear and giving up our freedoms to the government.’
When I try to take a closer look at these from a place of compassion, they both stem from anger and guilt. If you believe that we should be out living our lives, seeing our loved ones and so forth, then you’re angry at the other side because you see them as complicit in keeping you from living the way you used to live. You’re also likely feeling a little bit of guilt (if you do believe in the virus, and I’m not even going to tackle the non-believers right now) because you probably realize on some level that you are running a risk of spreading infection. If you’re in the opposite camp, you wish that people would be more cautious and restrict some of their activities so that more of us might live to see future years, especially with a vaccine on the horizon. You are also probably feeling a little bit of guilt and sadness for changing your normal holiday plans or requesting that family go through certain safety measures or else the holidays aren’t happening.
I think that it’s also been a very long, hard several years for people. What? It’s only been one year? Oh, alright. Okay, so it’s been a long, hard year for everyone. Globally. No matter what you believe, this year has been exhausting and everyone is exhausted. I also have to cling to the hope that no matter what people believe, that they’re being thoughtful about their decisions. I hope that they’re acting in what they feel is best for everyone, regardless of what those beliefs are. I do know that we all need and want some joy in our lives right now.
Holiday decorations went up earlier than ever this year. Shelves in the big box stores are sold out already, rather than having a surplus left over to sell at discount in January. More people are writing Christmas cards and doing virtual secret santas. Everyone is reaching for some joy.
I get the impulse to ‘educate and inform’ anyone that you believe is wrong. I have it too. But the fact of the matter is that everyone is fully entrenched. At this point everyone has decided what they think is right. And if they haven’t (fun fact, I’m one of those who haven’t decided) they’re probably agonizing over what they feel is endangering their family over what they feel is enjoying time with loved ones.
It could be that you are one of those lucky people whose entire family shares all the same beliefs about how to handle themselves this year, but more likely, even if you’re mostly on the same page, you’re running up against close friends and loved ones who have different views than you. At this point, I think we could all work with a big dose of compassion. If you have a member of your family who is terrified of contracting the virus, for whatever reason, telling them that they’re too young, healthy, active, fill-in-the-blank, is not going to help. Telling them that your coworker’s cousin had the virus and didn’t even get so much as a nose bleed is not going to make the scales drop from their eyes. If they’re asking you to get a test, if they’re asking you to please stop going to restaurants for two weeks before gathering, is it really too much to ask? If it is, then just spend the holiday on your own.
On the other side, if you have family who believes that COVID is no worse than the flu, refuses to take any precautions, and is insisting on having a large, unmasked gathering, you have the right to stay home. There is no reason to subject yourself to, at the very least, mental trauma. You wouldn’t enjoy the holiday anyway in those circumstances.
At this point, everyone is going to do what they’re going to do. In most cases, the desire to be together is there and the ‘asks’ aren’t insurmountable. This holiday is going to be different for everyone. The least we can do is stop sniping at each other.