Finding Joy in the Little Things

I’m one of those fortunate people who love the holiday season. I love all of the trappings and everything that goes with it. I legitimately don’t care what holiday you celebrate. Diwali? Bring on those lights! The best part of the dark season! Hanukkah? Hell, yes, eight days of gifting and you get to play with fire and pretty candles? Sign me up. Pagan? The Christmas Tree is my favorite thing! The winter solstice is my favorite day! (When I lived in Chicago, I knew the days would begin to lengthen again after the solstice. A reminder that the bitter cold would eventually end.) Christian? Let’s sing carols! I am listening to Christmas music from the day after Thanksgiving until New Years Day. And I’m happy to learn about/participate in all of the rituals of all the days as well. 

I was so happy to be able to decorate my house even a little bit.

This holiday season is obviously going to be different for many of us. Dean and I are taking our holiday plans ‘as it comes’ and keeping in communication with family. We would normally drive to Peoria to see his family. If we take the trip, as we currently plan, it will be only immediate family this year. We will all be in as much quarantine as possible for the two weeks leading up to it. However, we’ve already talked about the possibility that no matter what precautions we take, it may be too dangerous to come.

I caught a cold over Thanksgiving and I was terrified until my rapid test came back negative. If I had infected my family members, I would have tortured myself mentally until they made a full recovery. And if they didn’t recover, I probably never would have gotten over the guilt. It’s not something I want to live with.

But we have to take things day to day. Right now, things are okay. I’m almost fully recovered from my cold, no one else has come down with it, we’re okay.

Regardless of what we end up doing, I am still trying to enjoy some things that I love about this season. I’m involved in a writing group that’s been virtual since the pandemic began. The five of us have gotten close and the group has evolved and grown. We’re all pushing each other to become better writers and it shows in our work. I volunteered to coordinate a Secret Santa with the group. This kind of giving stressed out two of them and they bowed out, which is perfectly acceptable, the three of us participating are fully gung ho about it, which is as it should be. 

Dean and I are doing Christmas cards this year. We figured, this would be a good year to try and start that up again. I look forward to sending those out and hopefully getting a few back. 

My mom and I wrapped gifts together while I was home. I loved wrapping presents since I was a kid and it’s become one of the special things we do together when we can. We both had the majority of our gifts purchased by Thanksgiving so that we could wrap. The kittens played joyously in the paper and boxes.

I got a new job that started this week. I’m very excited about it. I had a moment today while I was working where I looked out the window at the sun setting and thought, “I’m living in Nashville, I’m working from home and I’m working for a publishing company.” I have a noted tendency to live in the future and ‘plan for the disaster’ but over the last ten years I have gotten better at stopping and appreciating the good moments in the present.

There are some people for whom this season is going to be incredibly difficult. Perhaps they’re unable to go visit family due to safety concerns. Perhaps they’re unable to because their family lives in another country and they cannot travel there. Perhaps they have family conflict. Dean and I have some friends who recently lost their father due to COVID. Very suddenly. I can’t imagine how awful this holiday will feel for them. And as it happened around Thanksgiving, the holidays may always hold a dose of sadness. I struggled to write in the condolence card. Words seem so inadequate. The best I can do is appreciate what I do have. I am very lucky. Very very lucky. I treasure my family (which includes Dean’s, I won the in-law lottery) and I will do my best to take care of us.

I ordered my kittens a cat bed two months ago. (Yes, it was supposed to get here in 6-10 business days.) It’s without a doubt the most expensive cat bed I’ve ever purchased and it’s supposed to be a calming, soothing, awesome bed. When it didn’t arrive and didn’t arrive and didn’t arrive, I thought, “Well, that’s what I get for ordering something off of Instagram. Once it’s reached 60 days, they’ll give me my refund. The cats sleep where they want anyway.” But it arrived today.

The kittens love it.

It came with a toy. They’ve been alternating luxurating in the bed and playing with the toy. Obviously the hope is that they’ll eventually share the bed, we got a bigger one with that in mind, but I was just so thrilled that they liked it. That it made them so happy. Every time I see them curled up in it, I smile.

Regardless of how this holiday is going for you, even if you don’t love Christmas music, holiday decorations or Secret Santa, I hope you’re able to find your fuzzy cat bed. Find a tiny thing that can bring you a little bit of light. And if you need someone to talk to, please reach out to me. I love emails.

Wishing you light in this dark time.