I believer firmly that the pet chooses the partner. You walk into the shelter, or up to your friends’ puppy litter, and someone picks you. Yes, you’re the one with the money, you’re the one with the place to live, you’re the one with the power to get there in the first place, you made the decision, but they have the final say.

“We met her a few months before we got her,” says Patti about Patch, her Basenji mix. (Well, her mother was a 40 pound Basenji, Patch is now twice that size.) “It was also her first time outside. She was like a fat giant guinea pig and she could barely walk and she was like, what are leaves?!”

Patti adopted Patch alongside someone she was dating at the time. She sat between his legs in the car the whole way home and vomited after her vaccines. She’s no longer with her significant other, but Patti and Patch are still inseparable. (Also, basenjis are apparently barkless, Patch is … the opposite.)

“When I got Denali, he was a fat little butter-ball of yellow fluff and his mother was a giant gray wolf who eyed me like she’d kill me at any second,” Christina Ross says about her now nine year old companion. “The guy was giving them away, for free, had an accidental litter with his wolf dog and husky.”

Christina slept on the floor with Denali for days, cleaning up puke and poop. Two weeks after she got him home, she was bawling. She wondered if she’d made a huge mistake because “he was going absolutely ape-shit” and she thought maybe she’d taken on more than she could handle.

Rachel just wanted fries. She already had a cat and was definitely not looking for another one when Pants flew out of the wheel well of the lifted pick up truck in front of her. She tried to honk, but in her words, “there’s no honk that means, ‘no wait stop’” So she watched as a small kitten bounced onto the asphalt and then took refuge under her tire.

Letting her fries go cold, she took him into a Walmart in a reusable grocery bag so that she could get kitten formula and a proper carrier. She did eat the fries later. Cold and gross as they were. She has had Zaxby’s fries only twice since, and only in times of desperation.

A polaroid taken right after Michelle officially bought Kahlo.

Michelle was leasing a horse called Kahlo during college. After she graduated, she was supposed to take a trip overseas, but then 9/11 happened and it was canceled. She had no job, no more school and suddenly no direction. She continued with her riding, something that was still a routine.

Kahlo was difficult. People at the barn called her names, she ran away from them and was challenging to corral. It took forty-five minutes for anyone to grab her for riding. Michelle was always sent because she didn’t mind spending the time catching her. Horses are herd animals and Michelle noticed that Kahlo had bonded to one horse. That horse had a foal and suddenly wouldn't let Kahlo near her. “Both of us were a little lost.”

One day another girl was trying to ride Kahlo. She was tacking her up and “being ugly and rough.” Michelle tried to tell the girl that Kahlo was upset by the way she was behaving and to stop. The girl told her that Kahlo wasn’t her horse and she couldn’t tell her what to do. Michelle walked over to her purse and, using the money saved for her canceled trip, wrote out the check then and there.

Kris went with her husband to get a cat for her two daughters while they were in school. He told her they were just going to look. (We all know how that goes - hi, Aang and Cloud.) “I told him that if we went there, there was no way we would be able to leave empty handed,” she said. As they were looking at the kittens, a tabby, soon to be christened Lassie, reached through the cage and grabbed her hair. She let everyone know that this was her family’s cat and went home to get her girls so they could bring her home.

Mark wanted a dog for years, but the timing had never seemed right. When he went with one of his friends to get Hudson, he was “mostly just excited and nervous about screwing something up.” Mark has always been calm and together. Hudson, well, he was a labrador puppy. “He was a bit wild and crazy at times … There were times when we’d be on a walk and he would just start going crazy. I would have to wrestle him to the ground, lay on top of him to make him stay still, catch his breath and just chill out.”

Although he had lived with pets, Dean had never been the one to be chosen by his own animals until 2020. When he started dating his wife, she had a cat that she had already lived with for well over a decade. Over the next six years, he became attached to Jake in his own way. When Jake died during the pandemic, he made all the arrangements for his heavily grieving wife and mourned along with her when they said goodbye.

Dean’s wife’s profession required her to leave the house even during the pandemic and without Jake, Dean found himself even more alone. “I missed a third presence in the house. As an extrovert, I liked having someone to play off of. I didn’t want to diminish Jake’s memory, but I didn’t want that to stop me from giving someone else a good home.”

Finally, his wife agreed to make an appointment to look at some kittens. “I didn’t really know what to expect. I had had pets before but I was too young to play a role in their selection. I wanted a connection.” Almost immediately upon entering the ‘cat room’, the pair were faced with two demanding kittens. “Once I found out that they were brothers, I really didn’t like the idea of separating them.”

New kittens were a challenge. They climbed everything, peed on everything, chewed everything and slept on everything. One year and one day later, when asked about the challenging times, Dean says, “I’m not exactly sure that the challenging times ever stopped.”

Six and a half years later, Patti has just graduated Law School and is about to take the Illinois Bar Exam. Patch is still her constant. “She’s everything to me today. She’s my best friend. She’s been through three relationships, five homes, career changes, weight changes, three surgeries. She loves me the same always. It’s the best.”

You’d never have guessed that this kitten survived two wheel wells in one night. Photo courtesy of Rachel Cason.

Christina lives on her own now and has added another dog, Echo, a German Shepard, to her family. Which was difficult at times. She “invested in muzzles so that we could finally all sit in a room together.” Eventually she was able to phase the muzzles out and they became a family. “I didn’t expect to be alone when I got two large dogs.” Echo became part of her family when she was in a long term relationship. “But they are my life, my loves, and my protectors. And just like I almost didn’t go to grad school because I didn’t know how to house myself with my beloved cat Java, my life is now dictated by my pets. I can only live where they live.”

By the time Rachel was able to get Pants checked out by a vet, she had already hand-picked fleas and ticks off of him, her other cat Bluebelle had already become attached, and they were a family. “My feelings now? Pants is still better than fresh fries every single time.”

Since impulsively buying Kahlo, Michelle has gotten married, gained several other horses, loved and lost many dogs and cats, and now has three children. Still, Kahlo is a special being. “She’s been such a part of my life for so long. She’s been with me as I’ve grown from that last little shred of whatever it is before you reach adulthood.”

Kahlo has gone from the disobedient filly that refused to come in to be ridden, to the wise mare who her person trusts to teach riding lessons to children. During one lesson, Kahlo tripped and instead of rolling onto her young rider, which would have been easier for her, she fell on her face. She’s also wonderful with Michelle’s own children. “When [my daughter] kicked her and told her to canter because she thought she could do it her first time out, Kahlo ignored her and looked at me first.”

There’s also no substitute for a horse’s substantial love. “When Sam was traveling and I was feeling completely overwhelmed, I could go out to the barn and put my arms around her and cry. That’s something that doesn’t feel the same with a cat or a dog.” She speaks of a time when she stood by a creek with Kahlo, just thinking. When she was ready to go, somehow Kahlo knew and started moving at the same time. “You become connected with them in a way that is different from your other pets. They’re so connected to your body cues. It’s like you become a centaur.”

Lassie’s first photo with her new family.

Lassie took Kris and her family through many road trips and boat trips. “Such a great personality. I never thought a cat’s personality could be so varied.” Lassie was independent and happy to be with them. She was with their family for eight years, throughout her daughter’s growing up. When Lassie contracted FIV and Kris’s husband asked the vet to keep her alive long enough for their now teenage daughters to come to terms with her death. When it came time for Lassie to take that final trip to the vet, “I couldn’t go.” Kris said. When asked if Lassie met the expectations she had when she went to get a pet for her kids, she said, “she was so much more.”

Mark and Hudson are now an inseparable pair. “Hudson is the perfect dog for me. He is always happy to see me and greet me when I get home, whether I’ve been gone all day, or just ten minutes. Hudson helps me remember what’s really important in life. He helps me smile and laugh when it’s been a long day, or to literally stop and enjoy the view.”

Dean and his wife both now have different jobs. He’s now out of the house while she works mostly from home. However, he still loves their two cats. “I’m glad we were able to keep them together. I think they’re two very dynamic personalities that play well off of each other.” When asked about arranging his life around two felines, he says that he’s happy to have “two additional souls that we can travel with.”

Michelle recently brought home two new kittens for her own children. They’ve already become very bonded. “It’s strange,” she says. When one of her girls is having a loud meltdown, instead of running away, “the kittens will try and get in there with them and snuggle with them. I would think it would hurt their ears, but it’s like they’re trying to make them feel better.”

And what do the girls say of their first ‘Gotcha Day?’ “I had never thought of owning kittens before, but now I’m so glad we have them,” said C. “When I feel sad or overwhelmed, Min Lee always seems to come in and make me feel better. And Mirette is there too, when I need something soft to snuggle.”

“They’re something that’s joyful in my life,” says FL simply.

Packages of Joy