Santosha; appreciation for the present

Last weekend, Dean invited me on a group outing hosted by his new employers. Considering what happened the last time I attended an outing hosted by Dean’s previous employers, coupled with the fact that I am currently unable to run due to the injury that I sustained there, one might have thought I’d be hesitant or refuse. But Dean really likes his new job and seems to really enjoy the people there. Also, it was ziplining and axe throwing. I had done zip lining once before. I had not done axe throwing, but both of these things sounded great. 

I went on a nice long bike ride that morning and Dean and I were pretty productive leading up to the afternoon. I took a dose of Advil preemptively for my hip, even though I didn’t think there’d be anything to bother it there.

We had a fantastic time. 

One feature that we appreciated, was that the zip lining courses had levels of difficulty; yellow, green, blue, black and double black. We started with green, then went to blue and I had to try a black course, which I did on my own. The obstacles were much more intense than the zip lining I had done previously, and we were able to stay for hours.

The best part about it was that I was completely focused on what I was doing that moment. I was using my entire body, pushing myself to my physical limit, and I was able to do it without running. My hip was not in any pain. I was drenched in sweat, panting and exhausted. It was beautiful in the trees. The entire experience was exhilarating. 

For some reason since that day, I’ve reached a truce with my inability to run. I know that I need to let the injury heal, and for right now, I’ll bike and I’ll explore new ways to push myself. I will get back to running eventually and for now, I’ll use this time to try a few other things. 

I was sitting quietly with Dean earlier this week, just sitting. I wasn’t looking at my phone, we weren’t watching t.v., I wasn’t reading a book, I was just sitting next to him after a long, busy day. He asked what I was thinking about and I tried to put my wandering thoughts into words. “I was just thinking about how much I like it here,” I said.

And I realized it was true. Even with my injury, I’m happy right now. Are there things that I wish for and things that I want to improve? Always. But it was nice to take a moment and appreciate being in a good place. I know the pendulum will swing again, but right now, I’ll enjoy this.